Let’s start with a questionnaire. You have to state the reason, the ultimate outcome for each of the following situations: Want your dream job, want to buy clothes, cars, a house, and all those lavish items, want a loving partner and a healthy family, want a pretty face and a great body, the list is everlasting.
With this endless spiral of us wanting it, hustling for it, possessing it, and then wanting something else, we become so consumed in this race of possessing and hustling to be something or someone, that we often let go of the reason why it all started at first place and that was, to be happy.
We want all the great things in life. Money, fame, love, because it will make our life happy. At least that’s what we think.
Have you ever got something you strongly desired, a dress, a car, a particular grade, etc., and realized that it made you ridiculously happy, you felt like you were on cloud nine but it all didn’t last long? It was that split second of euphoria or a max of a few days and then it went all back to normal.
Is this what happiness feels like? A sudden rush of adrenaline? A temporary emotion?
No, it’s not. The first thing we need to get in our heads is that happiness can be eternal if you want it to be.
You must think of this as a vague cheer-up slogan as we all know life has ups and downs and we need to be sad to be happy which does make sense but the philosophy of threshold happiness is flawed.
The first step to happiness is to redefine our idea about it.
Happiness is not in possessions, probably not in people, not in memories from the past, not in future hopes but present actions.
At this very moment, nothing is going wrong. If we tune into the now, we realize there is nothing but life and happiness. It’s always the regrets from the past or fears from the future that get into our present and lead us to unhappiness.
Always remember, “ No amount of GUILT can change your past and no amount of ANXIETY can change your FUTURE”.
But knowing that literally, nothing in this world is negative or positive, everything is neutral. The real deal is how we perceive it.
Learn from past experiences and plan and visualize a future self to guide yourself through your present actions.
There can be a world of difference in the definition of happiness and success from person to person. We all have different destinations(goals) but the input for achieving them is pretty similar. It all lies in those little, micro habits.
“Success is nothing but a series of small repeated actions that compound up.”
Those little choices you consciously make throughout the day whether it’s of being grateful, doing a little yoga, laughing out loud, surrounding yourself with positive people on and offline, the quality of your social media space, being kind to yourself and others, forgiving yourself, validating each emotion of yours and not falling in a comparison game.
Speaking of jealousy and comparison, Comparison is the most self-destructive habit a human can ever uphold. It is the biggest enemy of happiness. But unfortunately, it’s one of the most deep-rooted ones, we need to understand that all of us have strengths and weaknesses and it’s unreasonable to draw comparisons because no two people have the same stories of their lives and you need to focus only on yours.
Another aspect of happiness is progress. Human nature follows certain patterns. One of them is always going up and higher. Growing with each passing day as a professional, as a friend, as a learner but most importantly as a soul, growing more kind, calm, loving at heart embellishes you with a long-lasting sense of joy.
Can people be the source of your happiness?
Yes and No. It’s a quite complex yet simple philosophy. You can be the reason for someone’s smile and happiness, the same goes for others.
But depending wholly on others to be there to serve you with happiness, like putting the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket, leave you helpless.
Take the charge. Wake up every day and make it your priority to pursue happiness. Do things solely based on what matters for you and make you happy. Leave behind the negativity and fears because they are no more real than your positive thoughts.
Make that conscious effort.